Frequently Asked Questions

F.A.Q.s

(Or, Questions you shouldn't be asking)

• Who is making my stuff? We have a dedicated team of artists, sideshow freaks, grave robbers and a single voodoo priestess who commands several undead minions, working to build your items. Depending on what you order the craftsman (or woman... or zombie) may change. However, the quality of your item will be held to our highest standards. 
• What is my stuff made of? Probably the re-purposed organs and other bits of the recently deceased. Or polymer clay. It depends on what you ordered. We use everything from fleece to cotton to leather to chicken bones. It just depends. If you need specific details, please ask us.
• How do I wash (specific item) that I ordered? Wash? Wash? What does that mean? Like, you mean... cleaning it? Oh, well, all our care instructions are included in the package we send you. If it's not, we blame the zombies, they're pretty forgetful. But email us and we'll be happy to help!
• Do you take custom orders? Yes! We are happy to make custom pieces for you, or to acquire certain things from the recently deceased. Just let us know what you want, and we will work with you to get the piece you'd like to add to your collection!
• Do you guarantee my commission immediately? No. Unfortunately, due to traffic, demand, the constantly rising security of local graveyards, and our personal schedules, we cannot guarantee that we can make your commission immediately when you order it. You will get a confirmation email and we will open a conversation with you before any work begins on custom orders.
• How long does it take to make my custom order? That depends entirely on what you are ordering, how much customization you want put into the piece, whether we are duplicating a one-of-a-kind piece or if we have that item in stock, among other variables, such as how many orders we have in queue before you and if we are working our "day jobs" of if we're attending a convention or festival. Other variables that we cannot be held responsible for include jail time over the desecration of graves, the sudden uprising of the dead and our sideshow freaks going on strike (again.) Typically, if there's nothing in the way of us making (or acquiring) your piece, you can expect to receive it within 2-3 weeks. 
• If I have a specific date (Christmas, birthday, anniversary, funeral etc.) that I require a specific piece for, can you guarantee it? No. We need a minimum of 2 weeks before the said date, however we will do our best to ensure that your item is completed by the time you need it. We may charge an additional fee for 'rush' orders. Please note: Christmas orders must be placed by November 15 for ground shipping, or by December 1 for express shipping. We cannot guarantee the arrival of your packages at Christmas due to the sheer volume of post.
• Why do I have to pay a deposit on my custom order? We ask for a minimum of 50% of your quoted total price (before shipping costs) as a deposit on your order so that we can begin acquiring materials to make the order. We have had far too many orders canceled last minute and then been stuck with one-of-a-kind pieces and materials that have sat for years in our stockroom. It is a safety thing for us and a guarantee for you that you will get your product.
• Do I have to pay for shipping? Yes. It's unfortunate, but it is a necessary evil. On the plus side, we don't charge you extra for 'handling' charges so you're only paying what we pay directly to the post office or shipping company to make sure your order gets to you properly.
• Do you ship anywhere in the world? Theoretically, yes. If we can mail it there, we can ship it there, but be forewarned, you will be expected to pick up the tab on shipping.
• What payment methods do you accept? Anything you can do through paypal, we will accept. We DO NOT accept Cash on Delivery, personal cheques, Money Orders, or blood sacrifices, however. We CAN make arrangements for these other methods of payment if it is necessary, because we're awesome like that.
• How do I place an order with you? Send us an email and start a conversation! We will take orders through email and can also be contacted through Twitter - but email is usually more reliable!
• The item I want is one-of-a-kind and says 'sold' on it, how do I get my own? Unfortunately, if an item is labeled as one-of-a-kind, that means that that particular piece is already gone to a good home. However, we can reproduce the style of the piece, though we cannot guarantee an exact match as our pieces are art and are all handmade. Besides, why would you want something someone else already has?
• What measurements do you need from me to make the item I want? That depends entirely on the item in question and we will work that out with you through email when we accept the commission.
• What is a gaff? A gaff is a creation made to resemble something that couldn't possibly exist on it's own or be legal to own. We refer to many of our items as 'gaffs' because they are re-creations of things that had once existed in common use or would be unlawful to own nowadays, such as a monkey's paw or a human skull.